Parent Abuse

There is growing problem happening in this county. As family violence continues to be a problem, many are finding the abuser to be their own children. I have seen on Maury, a daily talk show, many parents who have dealt with this problem. I have, through this web site, met a few who say they have been abused by one of their children.

We have seen kids take their violence into schools, why not their homes? It should not surprise us that this is becoming a growing problem. Family Violence is breaking all bearers. It is finding it's way into all types of relationships and situations to add more problems to keeping our homes safe. This is just another reason why I feel so strongly about making Family Violence the issue and not just focusing on one or two different types. Until we tackle all areas of Family Violence, we will never have the safe homes and communities we desire.

Many become abusive because of violence they have seen directed at other family members. If a child lives in an abusive home, violence is what they learn. They either become more abusive or continue the pattern of becoming victims over and over again in other relationships as teens or young adults.

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Profile of a Teen Likely to be Violent

* Males and females alike can be involved in this type of abuse.

* The majority of the parents in this say the abusive behavior began between the ages of 12-14.

* Children that witnessed violence in the home were at a greater risk of being abusive in their teens. Also please note that some of these children may have been a victim of physical, emotional or sexual abuse.

* Many of the teenagers become involved in some illicit activity; shoplifting, prostitution, breaking and entering.

The study was done by Team Cares. Site is currently down. More information is available at ATC Parent Abuse.

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Why do Teenagers Abuse their Parents?

As with partner abuse there is no set answer to this question. there are some factors that do contribute to the teen acting out. Some of those things are:

Parental Authority ( Parents can be so afraid that the teens will not love them that they give them no structure.) Some teens have a hard time with any rules the parent puts out, and when the rules are enforced they become more abusive.

Changes in the family structure This covers everything from taking their anger out on the parent they live with, (this is when parents divorce or separate) to when a new person comes into that parents life. Many times the change in structure of the family unit can cause a teen to act out.

Social Isolation According to this report there may be a link between isolation and teen aggression. One piece of material noted in this study was the fact that teenagers that feel alienated from their parents often will act out abusively if the attention they crave is not given.

Visit ATC Parent Abuse for many links and information on Parent Abuse.

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Ending The Abuse

Sadly, there is no "fix" to stop teens from abusing their parents. There are some things that a parent can do to stop this "unacceptable behavior". As with partner abuse, the first thing that needs to be done is the silence needs to be broken. There is a severe lack of information on this topic and parents do not know where to turn. Parents of abusive teens need to make their voices be heard so that some credibility begins for this problem. Talking about the abuse is also a good way to get a grasp on the feelings that go with it. Talk to family and friends, find a support group, check and see if there is someone at the local battered women's shelter or women's resource center that can help. Counseling and therapy are a must for a parent who is being abused by a teen.

Some other things that can be done: have someone mediate between the teen and the parents. Both parents work together - instead of apart to stop - the abuse. Also uniting with other people in the community; teachers, police, probation officers can help also.

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