Runaways

When I was younger, the thought of running away from home was never far from my mind. I even did it for real once, but never left my small home town. I was gone for two weeks, and I found out quick that life as a runaway was not for me.

For many kids, it is a lot worse then it was for me. Many go far away from their homes and never make it home. Many are exploited into prostitution, pornography, and even end up dead. It is a cruel world out there for those of us with the benefit of life experience, but for kids it is much worse. There are people waiting to take advantage of a vulnerable child. It takes no time at all for someone to take control of a young girl or boy, and then just throw them in the nearest gutter.

This may sound harsh, but not as harsh as getting a visit from a policeman saying your child was found dead. The harsh realities of runaways is dealt with further below, and these facts are not pretty ones. You will also find ways at the bottom of this page to prevent a possible runaway from taking this action. Education is the first step to prevention.

If you are a parent, this is information that you must observe and pay attention to. Please do not think that it will never happen to your child. Many who are waiting for their runaway children to return have said the same thing.

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Basic Information

Each year one million teens leave home without permission. Runaways come from every social class, race, and religion. Typically, a teen runs away after a heated argument at home and stays with a friend close by for a day or two before returning home. Teens that repeatedly run away from home tend to stay away longer and usually have no plan of where to go. According to the Runaway Hotline, nine out of ten teenagers return home or are returned to their home by the police within a month.

Dangers of Running Away
* Possible Death
* Rape
* Prostitution
* Abuse (Sexual/Physical)
* Drugs
* Kidnapping
* Malnutrition
* Disease
* Hunger
* Health Problems
* Jail
* Gangs

If you want more information on runaways, where to go if you have run away from home, or need someone to listen, contact a professional counselor or call the National Runaway Switchboard: (1-800-621-4000)

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Insight to the Teen Runaway Epidemic

According to the Department of Health, more than 1 million teenagers run away from home each year. The National Runaway Switchboard reports that 86% of runaways are between the ages of 14 to 17 and 74% are female, while 26% are male.

Know the Signs
Prior to running away, many teens exhibit classic warning signs that include threats to run away, packing and hiding a bag, and requesting money to purchase necessary items and then secretly stashing the money. Parents should pay special attention if their child threatens to run away. Often, these threats are ignored or taken lightly.

It's vital for parents take an active stance and communicate with their teen about the perils of running away. If you are currently experiencing a turbulent time with your child, try talking to them when you are not arguing or angry at each other. Inform your son or daughter that running away is not as glamorous as it sounds. Let them know living day-to-day on the streets with no legal form of income, no food and only the clothes on their back is not only dangerous, it can be deadly. Don't wait for your child to express their thoughts about running away or show signs that they are devising a plan of action. Proactive is much better than having to be reactive.

Now What?
"If you believe your child has run away, notify the police immediately," states New Jersey Police Officer Steve Wilson. "Don't go out looking for them if you think they are involved in drug or gang activity and may be hiding out in a bad neighborhood. By doing this, you put yourself at risk of being harmed." Wilson continues, "Inform the police where you think your child may be staying and let them investigate the situation. Only go looking for your child in safe areas, but always make sure to have someone at home to answer the phone in case they call. After you inform the police your child is missing, you should contact family and friends and let them know about your situation."

Officer Wilson also advises that you make and distribute flyers, and involve the media as much as possible. "Many teens initially run away and in doing so, become easy prey for kidnappers, molesters, pimps and other predators. It's easy for runaways to end up becoming a victim." Other suggestions from Officer Wilson include being persistent and cooperative with your local law enforcement and file a missing persons report.

Talk With Your Teen
Parents should do whatever is necessary to prevent their teens from running away. If your teen is having problems, make sure you let them know how much you love them and that together you can work through the problem(s) and running away is never the solution.

More information is available at Troubled Teen: Running Away.

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Things to Keep in Mind When Talking to Your Teen

1. Pay Attention
When your children are talking with you, listen.
* Don't just nod your head while you're watching television or reading the paper, or using your computer.
* Don't just pretend to listen to them.
* Kids know the difference.

2. Give Respect
Acknowledge and support your children's struggle to grow to maturity.

3. Understand
Try to sympathize with what your kids are going through.
* Look at life - at least occasionally - from their point of view.
* Remember that when you were their age, your ideas seemed to make sense to you.

4. Don't Lecture
All children hate to be lectured to, especially teenagers, but all kids respond to clear information and direction, most of all when they know that the questions they ask will be answered.

5. Don't Label
The throwing around of useless labels will only confuse the real issues that you wish to address.

6. Discuss Feelings
Talk about what you, as a parent, feel and what you need; and allow your child to talk about his or her feelings too.

7. Create Responsibility
Give your children choices, not orders. Help them to understand the consequences of their actions.

8. Positive Praise
Describe your child's positive and negative behavior, and how it affects others.
* Be specific, and give praise to reward good behavior.
* Do this at least as often, if not more so, than you criticize behavior which you don't like.

9. Stop Hassling
Asking your child too many questions often shuts off information. Give them the opportunity to volunteer their thoughts and feelings, while you show an sincere interest, without probing.

10. Don't Always Give The Answers
You want your children to be able to find their own answers or solutions to problems. You can help this by not giving them the answers all the time.

11. Use Team Work
Work together with your child to lay out the problems and find a mutually agreeable solution.

12. The Key Issue
You MUST tell each of your children that you will always love that child, NO MATTER WHAT.

Taken from Prevention Tips.

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